Writing this post has pushed me way past my envelope and my comfort zone. But I feel it is important to go to these difficult places, for they hold the juice and power for the changes that need to take place. I have been thinking about the causes of the harm to the feminine, women and indigenous peoples. How do we return to that original place where true power lives within each one of us and not on the outside? How do we reclaim our true authority and power to co-create a new world that works for all life?
Last Valentine’s Day I was standing on the steps of the Courthouse with a core group of amazing local women bringing Justice-awareness to our community during the One Billion Rising celebration. We had a few short speeches and the poem “Still I Rise” by Maya Angelou that we were sharing lines reading to the audience gathered below. We had just gotten the poem the night before and had rehearsed a few hours earlier. I had memorized my lines and they flew out of me powerfully in rehearsal.
Then on the Courthouse steps just as we began to say the poem, trembling quivers suddenly started racing through my body like a freight train. I started to feel dizzy like I was free falling through an immense black hole. What was going on? Why was I feeling this? These were just two little lines of poetry to a receptive audience. Later I was to reveal my story as a survivor of physical and sexual abuse, but NOW? What was going on? Why? My lines fled me, even though I had the poem printed on paper in my hand, I couldn’t see anything. My mind was a fog. My lines, “Out of the huts of history’s shame. I rise. Up from a past rooted in pain. I rise” stuck in my throat! There on the courthouse steps I was back in time, back in history, back in the shame, back in the past rooted in pain. Instead of reading these lines, I was now reliving them! Elisa, standing next to me, lovingly touched my back with her hand… ahhh that brought me back to the present moment. Shaking, somehow, the words emerged from my mouth.
Claiming my voice has been a long, treacherous road. All the years of sexual, physical and verbal abuse and humiliation growing up had closed down my voice. I remained wondering what had happened there on the courthouse steps and what was that black hole? Was it some direct link to my past as a child, I wondered?
After our dance through the streets to the song, “Break the Chain”, we ended up at the Nevada City Winery. It was an unusually warm evening, like many lately due to the drought. We had a makeshift platform for the speakers to stand on. I was feeling an incredible sense of calmness and peace as I stood waiting for my turn to speak. Elisa asked me if I wanted to speak a few minutes earlier than scheduled.
I stepped forward and introduced myself as a survivor, and I stood there not only for myself, but for every child and every woman who had ever been beaten or raped or sexually molested in their life. Connecting to the eyes of the audience, connecting my heart to theirs as I spoke, you could hear a pin drop. The men and women were silenced, but tears flowed. There is power of lifting the veils of secrecy and just being real, open, vulnerable and honest. Rich healing happens when we lift the veils of appearances. No one ever knows our inner world unless we break the illusions and share our truth.
It wasn’t until later, recounting the incident to David, an alchemical hypnotist, that I fully comprehended where I went during that poem and took steps to change that energy on a deep level. As we began my session, he lead me down deeper and deeper through that black hole I had experienced on the steps of the courthouse. There at the other end of the black hole I was in a medieval setting at the town center. Only this town center, which should be the symbol for justice, was the place of tyranny and terror.
I had been stripped of my clothing, and I stood there naked and vulnerable. A man was placing an itchy stiff fibrous rope around my neck. I could feel it starting to dig into my throat and the pain it was starting to burn. I looked out at all the eyes on me. I was going to be killed for being a witch, a wise healer and for working with herbs. I felt deep humiliation. I saw the crowd, everyone, staring at me. That shame– like I am bad. I am publicly exposed as a bad person, naked and humiliated. I also see my family whom I love so much and see the pain on their faces. I am going to be taken away from them, they aren’t going to have a mother. They are forced to be there to witness my killing. Seeing this in my session makes me start to cry.
David then asked me if I wanted to make a speech to the crowd listening to my talk that evening…. Did they want to go with me back through time and history to rescue the woman with the noose around her neck getting ready to be hung for being a witch? We live in parallel realities and everything is energy. Shamans work the lines of the past and future by going forward or backwards. While we can’t prove that we can affect changes in other dimensions or time lines, the one thing I know for sure is that my own body feels and resonates to the changes taking place within it.
The session continued with me making a passionate and compelling speech to all who were present witnessing my talk at One Billion Rising and to allies in the Twenty-First Century to go back and save this innocent woman about to be hung and burned. Artemis and Joan of Arc showed up to galvanize our army. I jumped on a powerful white horse, Joan of Arc thrust a shiny silver sword in my right hand. Everyone who joined us had their horse and sword, and we galloped off back through time to that moment at the medieval square. She was rescued! We ended the terror. Her family would have their mother. Women were free to be healers and midwives and bring their gifts forward to the planet.
We are not only connected to the trees and the forest and the stones and rivers and water and stars and each other, but we are also connected to the time lines. We are connected to the past, the present and the future– all interwoven they are not distinct and separate. The past is not gone. We are still being lived by it. We as women are affected by the past when women were chattel (property) of men. This invisible morphic field (7 min. video below on morphic fields) allows the continuation of abuse. It is mostly the fathers, uncles, grandfathers and brothers who are the ones doing the sexual molesting. It is not taking candy from a stranger that holds the biggest danger, but from those we love and trust!
YouTube on Morphic Fields, Rupert Sheldrake on Morphic Fields and Systemic Family Constellations
Each of us are a template for the whole – hologram. When we enact a healing or change in our life it not only affects our life but all life.
We need to create new morphic fields that aren’t based on terror and power over others. The old paradigm of divide and conquer, such as men against women, and not trusting women and the feminine or people with different thoughts, turns us against each other, like the red states and blue states. Now, instead of divide and conquer, it is time to unite and transform and change to create a new world of inclusivity and connection where all life thrives; a world of love and interconnection that truly works for all life in harmony and balance.
WHAT ARE THE QUESTIONS WE NEED TO ASK
How in this present time of the 21st Century is it possible that one in three women will be beaten, raped or sexually molested in her lifetime?
Who are the perpetrators? In the western world, it is not the stranger or from war, but our own families. How is this possible?
How do we unite and transform and leave the divisions of separation behind?
How can we most effectively work with the harmful morphic fields that are in place?
How do we create powerful new morphic fields to create a world of love and peace that truly works for all life?
One Billion Rising:
I would like to dedicate this post to women and all the men who love them and to One Billion Rising. I have great gratitude to all of those who have organized and brought awareness around the entire world to the women and children that have been beaten, raped or sexually molested – which is one out of three women. With 7 billion people on our planet this adds up to more than 1 billion women. Thank you for bringing what has been invisible and held down in secret and the darkness to visibility and awareness that we create transformation.
One Billion Rising: Kathleen McIntire’s Survivor Story. Victim to Victorious
For Kathleen’s entire February New Moon Newsletter, including poems, related videos and upcoming/recent events, please View Here You can subscribe to my monthly newsletter here as well.
Standing for Mother Earth and her Rights of Nature
“To restore Mother Earth – her nature’s balance, the world needs to shift from a philosophy of control and dominion over nature, and its legal system of property rights regimes, to a relationship of understanding and respect for the Natural Laws and love for the beauty of the creative female energy of Mother Earth.”
On this pivotal day, nine cases were presented and accepted by the Tribunal before an audience of several hundred people in capital city of Quito. The cases range from the BP Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill, Chevron/Texaco Ecuador Oil damage, Hydraulic Fracking, treats to the Great Barrier Reef, Climate Change and Nature’s Defenders/Human Rights. The next assembly of the Tribunal is proposed for Lima, Peru, December 2014 in conjunction with the UN COP 20 gathering.
For Kathleen’s entire February New Moon Newsletter, including poems, related videos and upcoming/recent events, please View Here
You can subscribe to my monthly newsletter here as well.