“The Soul Would Have No Rainbow if the Eyes Had No Tears”
~ The Minquass
Recently while deep in a healing meditation and blessed healing circle, my heart exploded when a soft, loving hand touched it! Tears came pouring out of me in racking sobs, and the pain intensified! This was my Grand Cross.
An intense stomachache was my first sign or clue to follow. I realized how strange this was because I rarely feel sick. I don’t have aches or pains. I usually feel like love is the primary feeling tone of my life. And love is usually what is reflected back to me. As the pains and knot in my tummy increased, I decided to tune into it instead of trying to resist it. I dropped into the intense pain and then started to feel the emotional component that was showing up in my physical body with my tummy ache. I realized I had been feeling really snarky lately! That unfamiliar emotion is not usually present in my life. I noticed I had been occasionally feeling critical with certain friends and things people were talking about.
I decided to start to trace the energies of me feeling so snarky back to where they originated. As I began to follow the thread I saw they totally amped up around the time of the recent eclipses. An eclipse can bring up something from the past that needs to be healed–and can come out of nowhere. Which is certainly how it showed up in my life. (Last month I wrote about the need to keep my heart open with boundaries. Now I see that the person from my past that suddenly showed up was showing me a place I was unable to truly love unconditionally everywhere.) My commitment in life is to stand for love. Something was lurking hidden like those cobwebs in unseen corners. I was angry that there was a place I wasn’t fully being unconditional love. I know the first step is to witness, to truly see what is occurring.
Another thread of consciousness during that meditation took me to the Grand Cross we had astrologically peaking at the full moon in April 2014 as well. This was planetary and affected all humanity. ! I have a grand cross in my personal chart that was activated by this planetary cross. I remember thinking this sounded really cool! I was told it would be empowering. I thought that I had really been doing my work over the years, working with my shadow constantly. I was spiritual–this was going to be wonderful… HA! I was feeling it all at the deepest core cellular level. It was both my pain and the pain of all humanity. This was the deepest shadow work I had ever done.
As I traced the thread back in my meditation, I saw all these undercurrents of intense energy! A cross shows opposing energies. I saw so many things that were present that had been hovering just below my conscious awareness, and now I felt them. Not only was I feeling these things in my life, but I was feeling an intensity of these energies on our planet as well.
Suddenly I got what happens on a cross…crucifixion! I was feeling crucified in my life. I started to feel the pain of it all–all these undercurrents of energy. I saw all the places where the energy wasn’t in total alignment and each place I needed to have a conversation with someone in my life; some little conversations, some big ones, to keep everything crystalline clear and pure.
The Lakota say, “The Great Spirit is not perfect: it has a good side and a bad side. Sometimes the bad side gives us more knowledge than the good side.”
To endure this heart-aching, bleeding, broken, hurt, I put my hands on my heart and silently affirmed, “I am a healer, I am love. I can source that love, and send it like a golden nectar of honey into my heart.” My first teacher is my own heart.
I had been inspired by a radio interview sent to me by my friend, Mat Stein, which he had recently done. He is a graduate of MIT in Chemical Engineering, and is the author of two best selling books, When Technology Fails and When Disaster Strikes. The focus of the interview was his spiritual awakening and path. He sees how revisiting past lives can shed light on present issues like the visual impression of carrying a huge backpack filled with heavy stones. Resolution came to events that happened two thousand years ago at the time of Jesus. He went back to an incident where he had betrayed Peter and died in grief without forgiving himself. Because he hadn’t forgiven himself, he didn’t feel he deserved the unconditional light of the Christ and Source– which had come to him 2000 years ago, and again in his twenties in this life. He was able to forgive himself after seeing that past life and release feeling unworthy and undeserving. Right after listening to his 90-minute radio interview I went to a meditation and healing circle.
I saw everyone that was showing up in my life as a reflection of some aspect of energy that I was carrying inside myself that had been invisible to me. I realized the gift that each person presents showing up and making visible what had been invisible to me.
I experienced how each and every one of us has been on both sides. We have been the perpetrators and the victims, inquisitors and the witches. We have been the ones causing wars and the ones affected by wars. We have been the ones who have done it, and the ones being done to. We are everything. So I got at a deeper level the need to forgive our self. We are the only ones that can do it—to let go of the burden we are carrying, not just from this life.
I thought back to the closing of Mat’s radio interview. He said he didn’t think this was just his experience of turning his head and heart away from the Pure Love of God/Source because of guilt and a feeling that he didn’t deserved it—that this is a collective human experience! I saw how we keep attracting people in our lives to show us where we don’t truly believe we deserve that Ultimate Unconditional Love.
Imagine, so much of humanity giving up our birthright to pure unconditional love because of a belief that we don’t deserve it! So we turn our heads and hearts away from Love! We finally do wake up from the dream of separation and pain and we forgive and love ourselves and all others unconditionally. Putting down that huge backpack filled with heavy stones that kept us tethered to the guilt and undeserving.
Now in this Lightness we can lift up and spread our wings with a new found freedom.
WORKING WITH THE WESAK FULL MOON, for May 2014
This month’s full moon in May is the Full Moon of Scorpio and it is also the Wesak Full Moon. The Buddha was said to be born, enlightened and to have died all during the Full Moon in May! This is an especially potent time to meditate, pray, listen and ask. You can put a glass container filled with water outside under the full moon with your intentions to get infused with this very sacred full moon. I like to put my water out with my intentions when it gets dark and to take it back inside before the sun rises in the morning.
If you are interested in knowing more about Wesak I found this helpful site HERE
RIGHTS OF MOTHER NATURE UPDATE
Global Earth Rights Days of Action October 2-16, 2014
The Global Alliance for the Rights of Nature is promoting the first two weeks of October 2014 as Global Earth Rights Days of Action! The proposed worldwide Earth Rights Days of Action are to begin on October 2 – Mahatma Gandhi’s birthday and close on World Food Day October 16. The intention is to intersect with other global initiatives such as the Seed Freedom and Food Democracy Movement, Rights of Nature Ethics Tribunal, Blue October (international month of action to protect water), and other self-organizing earth honoring focuses. October 12, already recognized as Indigenous Peoples Day, will be honored as Rights of Mother Earth Convergence Day, a day to “Give Mother a Rest” (unplug, don’t drive, etc.). Sacred Earth Ceremonies across all cultures will be celebrated and commitments to defend her rights renewed.
This is a time to celebrate life and to recognize our Earth Community has the right to exist in its natural healthy state. Around the world we are inviting you to create your own celebration of Mother Earth and our sacred connection with her.
Robin R. Milam
Global Alliance for the Rights of Nature